ambiguity and ambivalence

I am in the very midst of finals and while I am certainly finding it extremely enjoyable to write about ambiguities being the basis of greatness in works of fiction, cheap I think I will take a break to write about ambiguity and ambivalence being the basis of greatness in things on my body.


  There is ambiguity about the nature of the collection of items on the print of my dress. There seems to be a buggy, for sale a clock, rx one of those accordion things used to fan flames, a hat rack, a sewing machine upside down bicycle contraption, and a different, red buggy. What is the connection? I think it is “things I don’t actually know the name for”.


  I got this dress at Sazz Vintage in Old City, and I felt ambivalent about it. I loved it dearly, with its odd little print, and so few tailored dresses from the 60s are made in my size.  My first impression upon actually putting it on was that it didn’t fit me right because the buttons gap a little across my bust. When I exited the dressing room, though, an excited male couple told me I had to get it. I have a hard time saying no to people who are excited. I haven’t gone to the their warehouse yet, but Sazz’s boutique is really excellent because they write the measurements on the tags of all their items, which is immensely helpful when dealing with vintage clothing. This dress was new with tags deadstock and not very expensive, and I knew in my heart that no one else should be wearing a dress with those accordion things that fan flames, because they are so dear to me in a way that I cannot express, considering I don’t know the word for them.



The fur collar was something I bought from my work. Every time we sell fur 90% of the proceeds go toward an animal rescue, which I think is a pretty neat policy. There was a brown collar too but somebody bought it, and while I don’t hope that they get hit by a bus or something, I do hope that they get an ice cream cone and the ice cream falls out and then they don’t have any more ice cream.



I was going to a concert so I wanted a bag that was extremely little, because I like to dance, and no, I don’t care that you came here to be taller than me and stand up front and yell “I LOVE YOU” to the girl who is playing music. I insist on dancing and being in your way, because the way I appreciate music is better and more meaningful than you being taller than me and crossing your arms and making an “appreciating music face” and why do you need to be up front anyway you are SO TALL


Which means that my bag had to be compact and cross-body, so I chose this adorable little bag by Japanese brand Swimmer. It is just big enough to hold my phone, kind of hold my wallet, and a tube of lip gloss.



My little cardigan and the beautiful purple-pink sunset behind me are Forever 21, size L.


I am also wearing a real old square dance petticoat underneath. I sorely need a new one.

5 thoughts on “ambiguity and ambivalence

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *