TIGERFUNCTION

23 Apr

Pennsylvania weather has been hovering around 60 for the past 6 months because we think we are San Francisco without the basic concessions to human rights. I realize none of my clothing is seasonal. Any of my outfit posts could happen at any time of the year.

Looking towards summer, which is the worst season, all I really want is basically a variety of printed togas with little braided belts. I don’t know why everyone has to complicate fat fashion. In the summer, when I sweat like manappendages, I just want a breezy thing that doesn’t have an empire waist or any kind of tailoring or material that shows exactly how much I’m sweating.

The frustrating thing about this is that I feel like that’d be a relatively simple and cheap thing to produce, but all anyone ever wants to hoist on fat ladies is sheaths of rayon to show off your chests, regardless of whether or not there’s anything to see.

I also don’t ever want a waistline to end right below my boobs. Ever.

 

I JUST WANT A PRINTED TOGA.

Instead, I am a printed tiger:

 

This was at the peak of hair grossness. I’ve since fixed it so it’s a different type of gross.

 

Fashion tip for this week and every week: Alienate everyone.

top: Patina Vintage, size OLD

skirt: on clearance at work, size HANDMADE

tights: prolly kohl’s

 

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