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sexy vintage clown

If I had any way of describing my personal style succinctly, prostate “sexy vintage clown” would be the phrase, here and this outfit encompasses that feeling perfectly.

A fat, pale, red-headed woman throws up her hands and shrugs her shoulders. She is wearing a short dress with blue, salmon, and green polka dots and a front zipper. It is zipped low enough to display a pink strapless sports bra. On her legs are black sheer polka dotted stockings and hot pink engineer boots.
what do you want from me? an update?

 

The dress is from Re/Dress NYC’s vintage section. It did not have a size on it, which is why I like the party atmosphere of Re/Dress’s dressing rooms. I feel less like it is an operating room where the mirrors are performing self-esteem removal on me and more like a place where I can comfortably assess if an item of clothing fits me and then get assessments on how it looks on me. You would think that’s how all dressing rooms work, but we both know better. I would guess this dress is from the 60s or 70s based on the colors, the front zip, and the fact that it used to be a playsuit. Somebody wasn’t comfortable with the “cloth vagina” aspect of it and cut out the shorts and half-heartedly attempted to turn it into a pleat in the skirt.

It does zip up over my boobs but that creates the boob loaf effect, which I can take or leave depending. I opted instead to wear a pink strapless cheapy sports bra thing under it. It’s from Wet Seal, which I never want to go to again. For some reason while you are shopping if you even try to take a step in a different direction there is a sales person waiting, desperate to ask if she can help you. When it’s time to go to the register, however, somehow there are 18 people in line and no one to assist them. Also, everything is ugly.

The pink boots are from Hot Topic and I need a new pair because I have worn them the hell out and I like them a lot.

By the way, I just checked Hot Topic’s website for you because I know you were wondering if they had changed at all since you were a little teeny mall goth and practically lived there, and they have changed. While Forever21 has the “your grandma’s curtain dress” market covered, Hot Topic has finally cornered the “your grandma’s demonic curtain” niche:

 

Let’s get back to me and my TASTEFUL taste in prints that are totally subtle.

A fat, pale, red-headed woman throws up her hands and shrugs her shoulders. She is wearing a short dress with blue, salmon, and green polka dots and a front zipper. It is zipped low enough to display a pink strapless sports bra. On her legs are black sheer polka dotted stockings. She pulls at her long red hair and has a vacuous expression on her face.
i don't know how to get my boobs into the picture

Oh yeah the tights are from Target! They’re good. They’re a size M/T I believe. I initially tried blue tights and it made me look fairly Smurfy and I don’t even like Katy Perry. No tights probably would have been best but I am still trying to resolve chub rub issues.

Here is Kara looking super:

intense

Looking obscene in McQueen, girlfran.

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