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Marie Antoinette Ate the Cake Herself

Well, pills it was brioche. And she didn’t say it in the first place because she was too busy eating actual cake.

I went out to Greek food in celebration of the return of my best friend Kara from her study abroad session in London! She got to intern at McQueen and be a real fashiony fashionster.

Img: a pale, fat, red-haired, young woman in a light-blue, sundress-style dress adorned with white lace and Cinderella screenprint. The skirt of the dress puffs out from the waist. On her legs are floral tights and white cork-platform boots. On top of her head is a miniature white tricorn hat. She is standing against a white door next to a window and sunlight is streaming into the room.
I am meant to be kept in a glass case backlit by soft fluorescent lights

The dress is made by another best friend, Tyler, who runs Lily of the Valley Designs and also has her own awesome fashion and crafting blog. The dress was custom made to my measurements, and I have to say, Tyler does an excellent job not only making sure the dress fits my body in terms of bust, waist, and height measurements, but that the bodice is the perfect length for my torso and the skirt flares out at just the right point. And she did the screenprint herself!

The mini tricorn is also made by Tyler!

The tights are the “Granny Wall” print from Celeste Stein. They were bought for me by friend Trent, who picked the print out and everything. An excellent choice, I think! These are the “Queen” size, which according to their chart is for people 175-225 pounds. I’m about 185 and 5’5″ and I think the fit is pretty good but they did develop a crotch-hole the first time I wore them out. I’m wondering if their 2XL would be a better option but unfortunately the disparity between the proportions of my legs and belly causes fit problems for pants, shorts, and anything bottom-related.

The boots are 1 thousand years old and from the brand “Montreal”.

Normally with an outfit like this I’d MAKE myself wear a blouse but it’s hot and humid in Pennsylvania, and it turns out no one will die if they see my arms. I actually didn’t know that before.

A close-up of Mary's face. She has red hair, a round, double-chinned face, large blue eyes, and very pale skin.
I like to tread that fine line between doll and clown

I have stopped really experimenting with makeup recently because when I screw up, I screw up bad. I have also tried to stop wearing foundation for the most part since this time of year I just sweat it off anyway. The usual routine is white eyeshadow to highlight, then a darker or more vivid color closer to the start of the crease, a big sweep of eyeliner on the top lid, and only mascara on the bottom lid. And so much blush. My hair was actually kind of fancy but you can’t tell at all. I just pinned random sections of it up to my satisfaction.

A fat, young, pale-skinned woman in a blue Lolita-style dress stands next to a white dresser covered in stickers.
Do you like the dresser that I made Pocahontas fabulous when I was little with sticker decor?

Tip for photos: Make a face a cat makes.

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